I haven’t posted for a while but a lot has happened and it takes a while for me to sort things out in my head before I can write about them.

Anyways, I started with the intention of writing about 2 gigs, travelling to Sparty Lea, poets, typewriters and London but I couldn’t fit it all in…so, this is about one gig. See what you think.

A couple of weeks ago I went to see Goldfrapp at the Sheffield Leadmill, I’d bought the tickets a while ago because I really like their music, I have since first hearing them donkeys ago.

For me, it’s what Marc Bolan might’ve done if he were still alive and hearing them makes me want to dance, sexy like and feel worry free like anything’s possible. So, I asked Farah, my wife who I’m separated from but spend time with (it’s not complicated, we’re just adults who aren’t vindictive or malicious). She likes them and is from Rotherham (next to Sheffield) so agreed to go when I asked her.

We met and went to Jury’s Inn in central Sheffield to drop our bags and have a bite to eat. I can’t remember ever staying in a Jury’s Inn before but apparently asking for a vodka martini is not the done thing…ahem…the bartender looked a bit forlorn at the request so I settled for a bitter.

Some faux gastropub grub was served up after a while and it lined the stomach, I cannot remember what I ate but I wasn’t ill later, so bonus. I do remember the portions being pretty good though…

Anyhow, we had a couple there and headed on down to the venue, which I’d never been to before but had always heard about: mental club nights and a good atmosphere guaranteed! So, expectations were high on my part, Farah had been before and knew how big it is and where to go etc.

We got there, seemingly after everyone else and stood where we could find a space which was at that point, behind the band’s tallest fan. I’m 5′ 7″ and Farah is smaller, so neither of us ever towers over anybody much. It’s not usually an issue but at gigs all on one level, it’s a pain.

The Leadmill is all on one level.

So, no support (luckily, as we were pretty much there 5 minutes before Goldfrapp) so we didn’t miss anything and they started with their usual psychedelic dance rhythms and ethereal vocals. I love them. I wanted to dance but like pretty much every gig I’ve been to in years, no one was dancing, instead people were using their phones to watch the band on a screen above other people’s heads…(don’t get me started on that one, grrrr).

After a few songs they fucked up, stopped after a few bars into one song and faltered. I can’t remember the last time that happened at a gig I was at that I wasn’t playing in (that’s another story 😉 ).

I really felt for them but before Alison Goldfrapp could say anything some quick witted “fan” shouted out:

“Can we get a refund?” Yorkshire’s answer to Oscar Wilde repeated this until he got a response from the band…

I felt embarrassed for Yorkshire and the band. Some people in the audience tittered but most were just silent, Goldfrapp muttered something forgettable and restarted.

That was it, I felt my ire rising, so we went to the bar and got more drinks and found a spot no one wanted to be (where you couldn’t see the band) and just started dancing, throwing shapes and enjoying the music. Security came over and stood there glaring at us but by that point we didn’t care and we were attracting other like minded people. It’s a fucking gig, why feel self conscious about dancing at a gig?! That’s why you go to them isn’t it?!?!?! Aaarrghghgh!


The rest of the gig was excellent, the music spot on, the crowd near us dancing crazily and security got bored and moved away.

I can’t tell you what the band was doing visually because all the people in front of the stage were motionless from what I could tell and we couldn’t see anything on stage. It didn’t matter a good time was had.

Then the music finished and we retired to the bar area where the DJ carried on the mood, so we danced and drank some more.

Then Farah tells me a girl she was talking to said she was 48 to which she replied we weren’t far off. This instigated a bit of gig night bonding and the lady’s boyfriend lifted me off the floor with a massive bear hug. Why people feel the need to do this to me I don’t know but this isn’t the first time a random stranger has done this…

We threw more shapes, drank some more and went on till we were too tired to do more. It was cool and made me feel a bit younger (I’ll be 45 soon… moop).

I never did have a martini that night but had one at the start of writing this 🙂

Nice one Goldfrapp you kerazy kats, cheers to you and may you carry on being sexy and out there, love to all the dancers 🙂


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